Friday, February 27, 2009

Waiting very impatiently.....

So it's my very first blog allowing people the inside view into my very interesting life. It's a Friday afternoon. I haven't gotten dressed yet. Todd should be home from work in an hour. I'm watching my 3 cats and a dog sleep, which is what they do for a good 20 hours a day. I often wonder if I actually played with them maybe they wouldn't be so fat. Maybe I should get dressed and clean up or something. Maybe not!
I am very pregnant and 4 days away from my official due date, March 3. I'm currently dialated to a 3 and 80% effaced. I'm ready to pull my own hair out! 4 weeks ago my doctor thought I had maybe 2 weeks to go. We got completely ready: washed his clothes, put up the crib, packed my bags, bought a new couch, cleaned the carpets, etc. But I am still sitting here. After 20 weeks of puking it amazes me just a little bit that when I wake up and feel fine it's actually annoying! I wasn't overly cranky about not giving birth yet until yesterday when my 3rd friend who was due after me called to announce her baby had been born. It surprised me how big of a nerve that struck! She called and wanted to talk to me, and as Todd handed me the phone I tried to come up with something nice to say instead of automatically accusing her of trying to rub it in my face! I managed to congradulate her through my gritted teeth and promised her that if my kid came out massive because I went overdue that I would give her my washed newborn clothes. My other friends I was much more accepting of their kids being born. I think it may be the fact that I had to tell this particular friend that they do not perform strep b tests through your mouth and you do have to wash baby's clothes in special detergent that made this time tougher. I've been in a very bad mood ever since!
So here are some thoughts I've been having about the upcoming birth of my son. My biggest fear right now is that I won't get the anitbiotics I need to keep him safe from the strep b I was diagnosed with weeks ago. A piece of me, even though this is taking so long, worries that when it's finally time he'll come really quickly. Coming in a close second in the worry category is that my doctor won't be on call when it is time. I surprised me how attatched I got to my own doctor and how important it is to me now that she is the one who delivers my son. I keep thinking she knows me, and nobody eles no matter how good of doctors they are will know me like she does. By Friday afternoon I start settling in, swearing not to move until at least Sunday night. On Monday I start walking the dog 3 times a day and scrubbing my wood floors by hand. It's a viscious cycle! Then of course there are the little worries. Will I barf during labor? Or worse yet have a different embarassing bodily function happen? Will I accidently starve my kid because I can't figure out how to breast feed? Is my house warm enough? Will I hear my kid cry in the night over my husband's snoring? Will the husband's snoring keep the kid awake? How am I going to keep the sick people away and keep my house clean enough for the well people to come visit? Are my inlaws going to drive me insane worse then they already do? (Maybe I won't let Todd read this!) Is the first time I have to feed the baby at my inlaws house going to give me very sensitive father in law a stroke? I suppose these are all normal, right?!
Now keep in mind that this baby took us 7 years to concieve. You would think that I could be pateint after waiting that long. But frankly this last month has felt longer than the last 7 years! I just can't wait to meet this little boy we prayed so long for. I can't wait to see his face and hold him and be told I get to take him home instead of giving him back to his real parents.
Well, Todd just called announcing he was coming home and asked what I wanted to do tonight. I think my answer was pretty much planting it on the couch and watching supernanny. I love her! Until next time......